Recent research has confirmed that children tend to live up to – or down to – their parents’ expectations for them.   Both mothers’ and fathers’ expectations for their adolescent children tend to materialize.  The more they believe their children will smoke, drink, use drugs or engage in other risky behaviors, the more likely it is the adolescents will do so.

Some of the highlights from the studies:
51% of 17-year olds have seen one or both of their parents drunk and 34% of 12- to 17-year olds have seen one or both of their parents drunk.

Teens who have seen their parent(s) drunk are more than twice as likely to get drunk in a typical month, and three times likelier to use marijuana and smoke cigarettes, than teens that have not.

5% of 12- to 15-year old girls and 9% of 12- to 15-year old boys say their fathers are okay with their drinking.

13% of 16- and 17-year old girls and 20% of 16- and 17-year old boys say their fathers are okay with their drinking.

Mothers of 6^th and 7^th graders who expected their teens to be more rebellious and take greater risks reported higher level of risky behavior in their children than mothers who expected their children to resist negative peer pressure.

What does this mean for your family?  According to Joseph A. Califano, Jr., chairman and founder of the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA), quite a bit.  "Some Moms’ and Dads’ behavior and attitudes make them parent enablers - parents who send their 12- to 17-year olds a message that it's okay to smoke, drink, get drunk and use illegal drugs like marijuana.  Teens' behavior is strongly associated with their parents' behavior and expectations, so parents who expect their children to drink and use drugs will have children who drink and use drugs."

For more information on these studies: June 2009 issue of the Journal of Research on Adolescence; CASA at Columbia University, National Survey of American Attitudes on Substance Abuse XIV: Teens and Parents