May 2008
Use Quality Time With Your Middle Schooler to Stay Active, Get Fit
Place
Spotlight on Respect - Not Your Pre-Teen
Act Immediately if You Suspect Your Child is Skipping School
Combat Peer Pressure, Talk With Your Child About Trusting Others
A Word From the Director
Use Quality Time With Your Middle Schooler to Stay Active,
Get Fit
Make the time you spend with your
child good for her mind and her body.
According to research, the average
child in America:
 Spends less
than 15 minutes exercising vigorously each day.
Spends 20 percent of her “awake
time” watching TV.
Drinks 20 or more ounces of soda
every day.
Believes that fit kids do better
in school than unfit kids. (In one study, 36 percent of middle schoolers
felt this way.)
Exercises less and less as she
gets older.
So commit to keeping your child—and yourself—physically fit and
active. During downtime together:
þ
Go for a walk or jog
around your neighborhood.
þ
Explore a sport that
neither of you has tried before.
þ
Play a few games of
one-on-one basketball or kick around a soccer ball.
þ
Take a long bike ride through your neighborhood or
a park.
Back to Top
Place Spotlight on Respect - Not Your Pre-Teen
You make a point of respecting your
preteen, but do you insist that he show you respect, too? If not, now is
the time to start. To develop your preteen’s sense of respect for you,
himself and others:
Don’t let him run the show. Does your home life revolve around your
preteen’s activities, achievements and desires? It shouldn’t. If his needs
always come first, he may not learn to respect the notion that other
people have needs, too.
Hold your applause. It’s fine to congratulate your preteen when he
does well, but don’t gush over every accomplishment, big or small.
Instead, save your highest praise for when your preteen works hard.
Studies show that kids who are praised for their effort rather than their
achievement tend to try harder and perform better than kids applauded
merely for “being smart.”
Allow him to experience disappointment. You can’t spare your preteen
from all of life’s troubles, nor should you. Whether it’s being cut from
the football team or failing to earn an A in math, he needs to learn to
take his lumps. Besides, they’re his—not yours. So give him a squeeze and
let him move past it. He’ll likely respect himself for bouncing back and
respect you for showing him he could.
Back to Top
Spring weather may beckon your child
outside. But he still belongs in school until the final bell rings.
Research shows that too many students are not complying with this. One
study last year from Indiana University showed that about half the
students surveyed had skipped school. Give your child the best chance for
school success by making sure he has a good attendance record. You should:
1-Let your child know that you
are monitoring his school attendance. Do not voice this as a threat.
Simply tell your child you are paying attention because attendance is so
important.
2 -
Speak with your child’s teachers or
counselor if you feel that he is not engaged with school. Ask if you can
work together on a strategy to help your child increase his interest and
school engagement.
3-Ask your child how he is feeling about school. Research shows
that children who are bored or who do not feel engaged with school are
more likely to skip.
4- Make clear to your child that you do not condone skipping
school. Not even once.
Back
to Top
Trust is key when it comes to peer
pressure. If your child knows which friends she can really trust, she will
be less likely to give in to a demand from a possibly untrustworthy
source. Encourage your child to trust:
Herself. Teach your child to listen to her instincts and “inner
voice” when a peer is trying to compel her to do something. What is her
first reaction—does she feel good about the request or does it immediately
raise doubts?
A true friend.
Having a few real friends—who have never asked her to do something that
would harm her—is a great defense against negative peer pressure.
A caring adult. Does your child have a teacher or other adult she
respects? What would this adult think of what peers are asking her to do?
You! Ideally, your child will come to you when faced with a request
that makes her uncomfortable. But she won’t if your first reaction is
always to explode. Staying calm, and reasoning with your child will
increase the chances that she will consult you before making a possibly
harmful mistake.
Back
to Top
The count down
has started. The days before the end of the school year are numbered and
soon we will be enjoying summer time activities. It seems the weather
goes from winter to summer. I just put away my snow shovel and boots and
now we are talking about end of school events and summer fun. As parents
this time of year can be a difficult time with more questions than
answers. Do we need daycare? Who will they be hanging out with all day?
Who is going to the Prom/Graduation Parties? These are just a few of the
questions I have heard from parents. Take time to plan for these events
and your summer. Our PCN website has many helpful tips for all ages. In
addition, the
Safe South Dakota site offers tips for talking with teens about
alcohol use and driving. Whether you are planning the Prom/Graduation
party or talking about summer care, talk about expectations and safety.
Decide what your family plan will be and follow through on the decisions
as a family. Remember, when we get everyone involved in the process then
we all have a share in the planning and responsibility. As
always call the PCN office with any questions or resources needs.
Enjoy the warm
days and Happy planning.
Darcy Jensen and the PCN Board
Back to
Top
|
