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Middle School News
February 2007

Helping Your Child Manage Screen Time
Find Meaningful Ways to Motivate Preteens
A Word From the Director

Notable Quote:
”Fortunately, children do not need ‘perfect’ parents. They do need mothers and fathers who will think on their feed and who will be thoughtful about what they have done. They do need parents who can be flexible, and who can use a variety of approaches to discipline.”
- James L. Hymes Jr., Ed. D.
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Helping Your Child Manage Screen Time

Screen time - time spent in front of a TV, computer or gaming system - is important to many middle schoolers. But when it gets out of hand, grades and social activities suffer. Take this quiz to see if you are helping your child keep screen time under control. Answer yes to something you do often, no to something you do only rarely.
___1. I monitor my child’s use of electronics and keep them out of his room.
___2. I set limits on the amount of time my child may spend in front of a screen each day.
___3. I am familiar with rating systems for media (including TV shows, movies and video games) and only allow those with appropriate content.
___4. I supervise my child when he is online. I have warned him that while the Internet has many benefits, predators may lurk there, too.
___5. I talk with my child about the negative messages he may get from media—such as pressure to have sexual relations, drink or try drugs.
How well are you doing?
Mostly yes answers mean you are helping your child manage screen time. Mostly no? Check the quiz for some suggestions.

Find Meaningful Ways to Motivate Preteens

You can’t make your preteen love middle school, but you can motivate her to do well there. First, though, you need to figure out what doing well means. If your idea of a job well done involves nothing less than straight A’s, you should rethink some things. It’s unwise—and unreasonable—to demand perfection from your preteen, especially during the middle-school years.

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t expect her to do well. It just means that you need to be reasonable. If you’re not sure what “reasonable” looks like, talk to her teachers or guidance counselor. They may be able to offer some insight about her abilities.

Beyond that, help your middle schooler stay motivated by modeling motivation yourself. Show her what a motivated person looks like. Talk to her about your own struggles. Let her see you work toward your goals—even if you stumble along the way. “This sales report kept me up for a few nights, but I finally finished it!” Let her share your successes and your failures.

To motivate your middle schooler even more:
-Encourage her. Middle schoolers need love and support from their parents (no matter what they may say). Sometimes, putting your arm around your middle schooler’s shoulder may be all it takes to get her through a rough patch.
-Use realistic praise. Don’t call your preteen a “genius” just because she did so-so on a test. She’ll see right through it. Instead, use more down-to-earth words like “creative” or “hard-working.” Show your preteen that you notice these real qualities in her.
-Let her make her own choices. Whenever possible, have your preteen make decisions. By giving her the freedom to make her own choices—even if it’s about something as simple as what color shoes to buy—she’ll realize that her input is important. And feeling important is a great motivator.

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Greetings from PCN

For several months I have being working on the underage drinking issue with students, parents, law enforcement and medical staff from around the area. I’ve asked them to tell me about their experiences, and I am learning so much from everyone. A big part of our discussions focuses on what influences them and how they deal with real life situations. Talking with parents who lost a child to underage drinking has been heart breaking and humbling. The hurt is so raw but the words of wisdom they have for both parents and students is pointed. They have a unified message: “Drinking is illegal and we as parents need to stand up and say NO”. One mother recalls, “We knew what he was going to do and we accepted it. Now I wish I could go back in time.” Parents need to be parents - not their child’s friends. Your children are old enough to talk to about this issue. Help them decide how they could handle a crisis situation and make certain they know who they can seek help from if they have concerns. Your child may need your help and your life experience to be successful. In the coming months I will share some of the findings from the underage drinking task force, positive parenting tips and underage drinking prevention.

Darcy Jensen and the PCN Board.