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High School Archive
2009-10

High School News

High School Archive
2008-09

High School Archive 2007-08

 

May 2010

Avoid Being Overprotective to Teach Independence
Help Your Teen Benefit From Community Service
Have You Talked with Your Teen About Integrity?

Regular Consequences = Fewer Arguments with Your Teen
A Word From the Director

Avoid Being Overprotective to Teach Independence

Overprotective parents tend to "rescue" kids from problems to protect them from any pain or suffering. Kids often love this kind of parenting - at the time. But overprotection can prevent them from learning the life skills they'll need as adults.

It's especially important to avoid overprotecting teens. Teenagers need to learn to take care of themselves, especially as they will probably move away from home in a few years.

To make sure you're not an overprotective parent:

ž Avoid rescuing your teen from small problems. If he has forgotten his geometry book at school and he has homework to do, he'll have to figure something out. (Obviously, if your child is dealing with a larger problem, like being bullied, it's fine to step in and help him.)

ž Give your teen responsibilities around the house. Knowing how to do his own laundry, how to make doctors' appointments or how to mow the lawn will definitely come in handy when he's an adult.

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Help Your Teen Benefit From Community Service

Woodrow Wilson, a wartime president, once said, "If you would be a leader, you must lead your own generation, not the next." That's what teen volunteers do every day.

Over the years, researchers have examined many of the positive effects of community service on teens. They include:

Respect. Teens who volunteer learn to respect others and themselves. As they work to solve problems, they gain new skills. They see the results of their work. They gain the respect not only of their peers, but also of adults and community members.

Leadership skills. Teens who participate in community service learn how to organize others. They know how to work in teams. Those are skills they can use in the classroom today and in the workplace tomorrow.

The "coolness factor." Other teens think that those who volunteer are cool. They respect them as leaders and look up to them.

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Have You Talked with Your Teen About Integrity?

Even a teen with the best of intentions will make mistakes. He may lie to a friend. He may go to a party he told you he wouldn't attend.  It's important to talk with your teen about acting with integrity. While morality is the set of beliefs that help your teen judge what's right and wrong, integrity is how he acts on those beliefs.

It's great if your teen says he believes in being honest. But what does he do when his friend asks for the answer to Question 10 on the test? What he does in that minute affects his integrity.

There are going to be times when he makes decisions that he knows are wrong. Some experts say that teens actually learn integrity in those minutes - they gain integrity by losing it. But that only works if someone helps them think through their choice.

Ask your teen:
  ?  What got in the way of telling the truth?
  ? Were you trying to impress someone else?
  ? Would you have acted differently if you had been with a different group of people?

Tell your teen that integrity is like a muscle. The more he uses it, the stronger it will become. So when he has to make a tough decision, he should ask one question: Will this action build up my integrity?

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Regular Consequences =
Fewer Arguments with Your Teen

She's missed her curfew. You're too tired to argue about it, so you let it slide. It happens all the time. Parents think they are avoiding an argument by letting their teens break the rules.  And they are - for the moment. But they're really just postponing the battle until the next time they try to enforce the rules.

It's one of the great mysteries of discipline. The more consistently you apply consequences, the less you will have to impose them.  When you're inconsistent, your teen starts to think you don't really mean what you say. The rules really aren't rules; they're more like suggestions. So she'll fight your rules all the time. After all, sometimes pushing back works.   On the other hand, if you enforce curfew every time, your teen will almost never fight. She knows what to expect if she breaks the rules, so she's more likely to follow them.

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Greetings from PCN

The rush of spring is here!  Families find themselves in frenzy – school programs, concerts, field days, class trips, final exams, graduations and celebrations abound. Whether we are proudly watching a kindergartner or a senior face the next phase of life, we know our children will tackle their futures with gusto. 

This year, we have looked at a number of parenting issues, from building character to preventing substance abuse, from dealing with bullies to handling stress.  Looking back, the newsletters really revolve around a central point: Respect.  Respect for self.  Respect for family, friends, schools and community.   Respect is a small word with large impact.  Webster’s defines it as, “To have deferential regard for; esteem.  To treat with propriety or consideration.”  It is how we want our children to treat us, and how they need to treat themselves.

During the summer months, we encourage you to continue helping your family build respect.  It is a major tool in building strong, self-assured and capable young people.  For ideas, information and parenting tips, please continue to visit our website.  And of course, feel free to contact our office if you have questions.
Have a wonderful summer!

                  Darcy Jensen and the PCN Board

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