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The bully your teen
once knew from the playground may now have moved on to the Internet.
Cyberbullying - bullying someone online - has sadly become common. Just
as with all bullying, though, your teen doesn’t have to sit and take it.
She can take steps to prevent it. If it does happen, she can move to end
it quickly. Here’s how to help:
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Be there for your
teen. Explain that you won’t stand for her being bullied
anywhere—including online. Ask her to tell you if she receives a cruel
or hurtful email.
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Tell your teen not
to share any passwords with peers. That includes her closest friends.
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Keep the Internet
out of her bedroom. Here’s another reason to keep computers in family
areas, such as kitchens: Your teen may be more likely to tell you about
bullying if you’re in the same room.
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Teach your teen to
use a search engine, if she doesn’t already know how. A search engine (Google™
and Yahoo® are two of the best known) lets you enter words of interest,
such as “Civil War” or “spaghetti sauce recipes.” It then shows you
whatever it can find online about the topic.
Enter your teen’s name, your address, phone numbers or other information
to see if the search engine is able to find anything. It’s a good way to
check whether someone has posted something about your teen in a public
Internet area.
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Never respond. Your
teen should never write back to a cyberbully. This only encourages the
bully to keep the communication going.
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Keep records. Print
out everything your teenager receives from a cyberbully or finds posted
about her in a public Internet area. Make sure you have a date and time
for everything.
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Go to the
authorities. If cyberbullying happens more than once, go to school
officials or the police and show them what you have printed out.
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Do You Know What
Your Teen Does After School?
Research shows that teens who spend after-school hours in structured
activities do better in and out of school than teens who don’t. It doesn’t
matter what they do—it can be a sports team, a church group, a homework
club or a part-time job. But kids who organize their time will do better
than teens that spend their after-school hours just hanging out. Are you
helping your teen make the most of out-of-school time? Answer yes or no to
each statement:
___1. My teen has a structured activity for after-school hours nearly
every day of the week.
___2. I set limits on the time my teen can spend just “hanging out” with
friends.
___3. I check up on my teen after school so she can tell me where she is
and who she’s with.
___4. I sometimes give my teen an extra “push” to make sure she gets to
her after-school activity.
___5. I have looked for after-school programs to help my teen with
homework.
How well are you doing?
Each yes answer means you’re helping your teen make the
most of after-school time. For each no answer, try that idea from the
quiz.
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Greetings from PCN
The past several months I have being working on the underage drinking
issue with students, parents, law enforcement and medical staff from
around the area. I’ve asked them to tell me about their experiences, and
I am learning so much from everyone. A big part of our discussions
focuses on what influences them and how they deal with real life
situations. Talking with parents who lost a child to underage drinking
has been heart breaking and humbling. The hurt is so raw but the words of
wisdom they have for both parents and students is pointed. They have a
unified message: “Drinking is illegal and we as parents need to stand up
and say NO”. One mother recalls, “We knew what he was going to do and we
accepted it. Now I wish I could go back in time.” Parents need to be
parents - not their teen’s friends. Please take time to talk with your
son or daughter about this issue. Discuss how they would handle a crisis
situation and make certain they know who they can seek help from if they
have concerns. Your teen needs your help and your life experience to be
successful. In the coming months I will share some of the findings from
the underage drinking task force, positive parenting tips and underage
drinking prevention.
Darcy Jensen and the PCN board
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