Approach Teens From a Position of Respect

You can talk all day about respecting others. You can lecture all night about following rules and being polite. None of it will sink in unless you practice it yourself.

A teen who feels respected might:
o Treat others as people of value—because she is treated that way.
o Follow rules—because she feels okay about not being in control.
o Listen to others—because you listen to her.

A teen who feels disrespected might:
v Argue a lot—because she feels people won’t listen to her.
v Resist authority—because following directions makes her uneasy.
v Ignore others—because she feels ignored.

Steer her toward positive results by:
Being polite to her. Speak to her the way you want her to speak to you and other people.
Asking her opinion. The words “what do you think” are powerful. While you cannot always follow her advice, you can keep it in mind.
Praising her when she acts respectfully. Remind her that she represents your family when she is at school or out in the community.

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Tips to Get Your Teen Up & Out in the Morning

Teens enjoy staying up late in the summer and sleeping in during the day.  But now school is starting, and it’s harder than ever to get them out of bed. It doesn’t mean they are lazy or defiant, and you’re not a bad parent. But they do need more sleep.   Doctors at the respected Mayo Clinic say that most teens need about nine hours of sleep a day. Yet only 15 percent actually sleep that much, and about a quarter of teens only get six hours of sleep or less on school nights.  What do teens do when they should be in bed? Homework. Part-time jobs. Computers. Video games. TV.  But they can make changes. Here are some tips to help get your teen up and out the door on time:
? Look at his schedule. If he’s working late, or if he is so involved in school activities that he can’t start studying until 10:00, it’s time for him to cut back and devote more time to getting rest.

? Limit his use of caffeine. It only makes it harder to fall asleep at night.

? Open the window shades. Bright light can make it easier for people to wake up in the morning.

? Allow him to relax before bedtime. That includes no heavy reading or studying during the hour before going to bed.

? Make sure he can fall asleep. If your teen has a television in his bedroom, have him turn it off before he goes to bed. The bright, flickering light can keep him from falling asleep.

? Stick to a regular schedule. Catching up on sleep during the weekend doesn’t work. It will make it harder to get on a sleep schedule the next week.

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Firm, Fair and Consistent Discipline

Getting teens to agree to discipline rules is tough. Getting them to stick to their agreement can be even more challenging. Yet it is critical in providing discipline that works.  Suppose you’ve set rules about curfew. At first your teen comes in a few minutes late, then gradually later and later. Try these four steps:
1.Don’t lecture. Keep your comments short and friendly. “I noticed you came in after curfew.”

2. If your teen objects, remind him of your agreement. “We agreed that if you missed curfew on a week night, you couldn’t go out on Friday.”

3. When your teen continues to object, don’t say a word. Use nonverbal communication. Point to your watch. Smile. Less really is more—the less you say, the more effective you will be. Stick to a few words: “Curfew, agreement, ten o’clock.” Be firm and fair. But be consistent.

4. When your teen agrees that he was late, say, “Thank you for remembering our agreement.”

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Greetings from PCN

Wow!  It seems we were just looking forward to summer vacation, and now we’re heading back into the classroom.  Where did the summer go?  I hope you and your family found time to enjoy the slower pace and longer days of the past few months. 
Students are excited and nervous about starting a new school year.  You can help by remembering to listen, encourage and guide your teen through the ups and downs.  Make an extra effort to meet teachers and school staff, find out what school volunteer opportunities will fit with your family schedule and plan on attending as many school functions as you can. 
The start of a new school year also provides a wonderful opportunity for a fresh start at home. Enjoy more meals together, schedule some family fun time, and talk to your teens.  They are listening (and watching!) even when you don’t think they are!   
Welcome Back! 

Darcy Jensen and the PCN Board
 

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