December 2008
Research Points To Five Key Tasks for Parents of Teens
Help
Your Teen Brainstorm Ways to Change the World
Research: Most Parents Are Aware of Teen Substance Abuse!
A Word From the Director
Did you
think that most of the big parenting jobs were over? Hardly. The
Harvard School of Public Health collected the latest research in
Raising Teens. It outlines five key tasks for parents of teenagers:
Love and
connect. Spend time
together as a family and spend one-on-one time with your teen. Do
familiar things like cooking a meal or watching sports, and add new
things like volunteering as a family.
Guide and
limit. Figure out
what’s non-negotiable—issues like safety and health. Let your teen
know you won’t give in on those things. But talk about how you can
work together to compromise on issues like clothes, hair and
schedules. Give your teen practice in making choices and then living
with the results.
Monitor
and observe. Stay in
touch with where your teen is going—and who he’s with. Talk with other
adults (teachers, coaches) who know about changes in your teen’s life.
Keep in contact with the school about your teen’s grades and
attendance.
Model and
consult. Be a good
role model. Take care of your health. Put your values into practice.
Your example is more powerful than any words you speak.
Provide and advocate.
If your community doesn’t provide what you think teens need, get
active. Network within the community to provide the support you know
all teens need. Work with others to add positive support and remove
negative influences.
Teens
often want to change the world. But some don’t see how they can make a
difference. Here’s an activity that might focus your teen.
Give her a
piece of paper, some magazines and some markers. Have her take 10
minutes to answer the question: “If I could change the world, what
would it look like?” She may draw a picture. She may find a
quotation that reflects her idea. After she has time to work on the
project, have her explain it to you.
Talk about
the picture together. Where does she most want to make changes? How
could she start making those changes right away? If she’s worried
about the environment, could she join the Ecology Club? (Or could she
start one at her school?)
Put up the
poster where she can see it. It will remind her of how she wants to
help change her world.
It is
commonly assumed that most parents are in the dark on the topic of
their teenager’s cigarette, alcohol or marijuana habits. But a recent
study conducted by the University of Buffalo’s Research Institute on
Addictions found that, in fact, most parents are aware of their teen’s
drinking, cigarette smoking and marijuana use. In the study, 82% of
parents accurately reported teen cigarette smoking. 86% reported their
teen’s alcohol use; the same percent of parents were able to verify
their teen’s marijuana habits. Parents who were not aware of their
teen’s substance abuse habits tended to have younger teens (about 14
or 15) or were dealing with their own addictions.
Research
suggests that you can be more aware of your teen’s substance abuse if
you:
 Reduce your own substance
use. As much as your teen claims to be an “adult,” she still looks to
you as a role model.
Keep tabs on what your
teens is doing—all of the time. It is especially important that you
know what your teen is up to after school, at night and on weekends.
Look for signs of
substance abuse, even if your teen is young.
Get help.
Programs on how to cope with teen substance abuse can help you gain
vital parenting skills and lessen the effects of stress on the whole
family.
Back to Top
Greetings from PCN
The holiday
season is coming, it seems the decorations have been in the stores
since the first part of October! I enjoy this time of year and want to
savor each moment; yet our fast-paced world keeps us all moving ahead.
It sometimes feels like we need to be on to the next holiday or
project with little time spent on the present moment. As I selected
articles for this month I found this quote by H. Jackson Brown Jr.
“Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity, they
think of you.” Wow, what a mission statement for all parents. In this
season of fast-paced living, are we being the role models our children
need? Teaching our children about fairness and integrity is a gift
that has no season and never needs to be exchanged. Please take time
to be with your family this holiday season and give the gift of your
presence. It will show your children how much you care about them.
Holiday
Greetings to each of you from
Darcy
Jensen and the PCN Board
Back
to Top
|
