October 2009
Miss School? Your Teen
Will Miss Out!
Parent Quiz: Are You Helping Your Teen Consider Consequences?
Give
Your Teen Responsibility for His Own Schedule
Use ‘Drive Time'
for a Lesson About Respect
A Word From the Director
Is
it a big deal to let your teen miss school if he's not sick? Research
done by the Chicago Public Schools gives the answer: Absolutely.
The
school system tracked the attendance of students who missed even a
small amount of school - roughly one week each marking period. They
found those students were significantly more likely to drop out or not
graduate from high school on time.
Ninth grade
is an especially important year. Only 63% of ninth graders who missed
one week of school each marking period graduated on time four years
later.
When teens
miss class, they miss out on important learning. So stress the
importance of going to school every day.
Also check
your teen's absences from class. Be sure that he is not only in
school, but also in his math class!
Teens think
they're invincible. So it's up to parents to help teens develop an
appropriate sense of caution. Are you teaching your teen to make good
choices and consider consequences?
Answer yes
or no to the questions below to find out:
___1.
Have you talked with your teen about thinking first - before acting?
___2.
Have you taught your teen delaying tactics when she is faced with a
choice? She can count to 10 or pretend to call someone so she can
stall for time.
___3.
Do you remind your teen of her long-term goals? "Will you get into
college if you skip classes and fail?"
___4.
Have you given your teen an out? If she's in danger, you will pick her
up--no questions asked.
___5.
Have you given her some ways to say no. "My parents would kill me!" is
usually effective.
How
well are you doing?
Each yes
means you're preparing your teen to think before she acts. For each no
answer, try that idea in the quiz.
Your teen
may be used to you telling him what to do and when to do it. But as he
grows up, he should gradually take over his own schedule. The start
of the school year is the perfect time to give your teen a calendar or
a planner. Encourage him to think about assignments and events and to
write everything down so he doesn't forget anything. Then suggest that
your teen start thinking:
Monthly.
After filling in his calendar with school, activity and family
commitments, he should look at the whole month. Are there any
conflicts? Is there a big project coming up next month that he needs
to start working on now?
Weekly.
It's important to review the week ahead, as well. Does he have
any tests next week? He will have to allot more study time for that
subject this week. If he wants to go out with friends on Friday night,
he may need to do his laundry on Thursday instead.
Daily.
Your teen can make to-do lists to help keep him on track. That will
ensure he gets everything done.
Review the
schedule with your teen. If he's at school for eight hours a day,
sleeps for eight hours a night, and studies for three hours each
evening, does he really have time to join the soccer team?
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It's
important to look for opportunities in your teen's everyday life to
teach him about respect. And if you can find something he can really
relate to, you have a golden teachable moment.
Most teens
dream about getting their driver's license. And as they get closer to
earning it, they pay close attention to other drivers. For parents,
this is a great time to help teens think about showing respect.
Suppose a
driver cuts you off as he races to get into the turn lane. You could
lose your temper. Or you could talk about it with your teen. Is that
driver showing respect for the other drivers on the road?
Do not be
surprised if your teen thinks you should have responded in kind. He
may even say, "You allowed him to disrespect you."
It's that
kind of thinking that gets teens into trouble. Now is the time to
remind him that not every slight needs to be addressed.
If you had
chased after the other driver, you might have put yourself--and others
on the road--in danger. Helping teens see that it's okay not to
respond can be a powerful lesson.
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The memories of summer are beginning to fade and we are all adjusting to
our “back to school” schedule. As I reviewed the articles for this
month, I chose to highlight responsibility. How do we teach our
children responsibility? The teachable moments are there for us to
use if we just prepare for them and take advantage of each
opportunity. Our children watch us as we go about our daily lives; we
are role modeling how to react to others and how to accept
responsibility for our words and deeds. This quote by Denis Waitley
truly helps parents understand the importance of teaching our children
to be responsible. “The greatest gifts you can give your children are
the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence.”
Teaching our children to take responsibility for their actions will
build a strong foundation for their journey in life. Take time to
discuss the meaning of responsibility and how someone becomes
responsible. I hope you have time to read the articles and enjoy a
good family discussion on responsibility. As always, call the PCN
office if you have questions or are in need of a resource.
Enjoy fall -
Darcy Jensen and the PCN Board
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