October, 2008
Find Ways to
Spend Quality Time with Your Teen
Teach Your Teen that Persistence is Key for Success in School, Life
Review, Revise Rules for Teens to Make Them Age-Appropriate
Talk About How
to Treat Others with Respect
A Word From the Director
Before kids can drive, they have to
spend time with their parents. Otherwise, they won’t get to friends’
houses, sports practices and other activities.
But by high school, either they can
drive or they can find a friend who can get them places. Time spent
with parents decreases. But it’s a mistake to think that teens don’t
want to spend time with parents. A survey conducted for the White
House Conference on Teenagers found that “not having enough time
together” with parents was the top concern of teenagers. In the
survey, teens said they wanted their parents to spend more time with
them. How can you do that? Here are just a few ideas to get you
started:
Plan family meals. Plan and prepare a
meal with your teen. You’ll get a great meal and a great conversation.
Look for “teachable moments.” Talk
about underage drinking when you see a story about a car crash caused
by someone drinking and driving. Talk about violence and better ways
to solve problems when you see a TV show that includes violence.
Read together. Choose a book that
you’ll both enjoy reading and make time to discuss it.
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At some point in her high school
career, your teen is going to face a setback. Make surviving high
school easier by teaching your teen that failure is something that
happens to a person, not something the person is.
At one time or another everyone has
failed at something. The key is to remind your teen to keep trying
until she is successful.
Persistence is a character trait that
will help your teen in school and throughout her life. To teach your
teen to be persistent:
v
Praise her.
Say things like “That’s a challenge, but I know you’ll figure it out.”
Even if she rolls her eyes, your confidence in her will give her hope
that she can succeed.
v
Suggest that
she break large projects into smaller parts. As she completes each
small step, the project will seem less intimidating. She’ll stick with
it more easily—and have it ready by her teacher’s due date.
v
Encourage her
to set goals. Working towards one thing that she really wants will
help her persevere past any obstacles.
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Your teen is getting older and
(hopefully) more responsible. The way you discipline her should
reflect that. The beginning of the school year is a great time to
think about making some adjustments to your discipline policy. You may
want to review your rules about:
Curfew.
When setting a school-night curfew, take your teen’s after-school
activities into consideration. What time do these activities usually
end? For a weekend curfew, consider pushing your teen’s school-night
bedtime back by about an hour. Later curfews than that can make it
hard for your teen to wake up on Monday morning.
Chores.
Expect your teen to pull her own weight around the house. Learning how
to do her own laundry and how to keep her room and bathroom clean will
be very useful when she’s on her own.
Driving.
If your teen is about to get her license, set rules about driving.
Limit the number of other people allowed in the car with her. Also set
a rule about how late at night she is allowed to drive. Discuss the
importance of always wearing a seatbelt and asking passengers to do
the same.
Allowance.
If you give your teen an allowance, use it as a way to teach her
financial responsibility. Increase her allowance—but make her
responsible for paying for things like her lunch or cell phone bill.
She will learn to budget her money if she wants to be able to go to
the movies or shopping with friends.
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Many teens
today aren’t quite sure what it means to be respectful—or why it even
matters. It is important for you to help your teen learn how to show
respect, as well as how to receive it.
Set aside a
few minutes with your teen and:
þ
Talk about respect. What does showing respect
look like? What are words he would use to define respect? Do the words
in the Golden Rule (“Do unto others”) meet his definition?
þ Talk about
disrespect. How do people show that they disrespect teens? How do
teens show that they disrespect others?
þ Talk about
the importance of showing respect at school. Your teen can show
respect to the teacher in simple ways—coming to class prepared and on
time. By demonstrating respect, your teen is more likely to receive it
in return.
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Greetings from PCN
The warm days of summer are beginning
to fade and we are all adjusting to our “back to school” schedule. As
I reflect back on summer it seems like we went from the first days of
June to September in a blink of the eye. Our fast paced lives often
leave us wondering, “When will it slow down?” The articles I selected
for this month highlight connecting with your child and helping your
child get organized. How do we teach our children to organize their
time and connect with others? The teachable moments are there for us
to use if we just prepare for them and seize the moment. Our children
watch us as we go about our daily lives; we role model how to respond
to others and how to organize our daily schedule. Parenting is never
an easy job, but giving our children the tools they will need to lead
successful lives is a large part of that job. Teaching our children to
value time with family and friends must start with the family. Take
time to discuss the value of family time and organize your schedules
to have family time. I hope you enjoy the articles in our back to
school edition and take time for your own family discussion. As
always call the PCN office if any have questions or are in need of a
resource.
Enjoy fall and all the resources on our site.
Darcy
Jensen and the PCN Board
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