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Make a Point to Find
Time with Your Teen
Some experts believe in quality time - making small amounts of time seem
special. Others believe in quantity time - spending a lot of time just
hanging out with the family. Whatever you believe, the common word is
time. Always be on the lookout for ways to spend it with your teen.
Some ideas that may work for your family:
 Leave the house with your teen. Make it a rule that you and your
teen will go somewhere together once a week, no matter what. At the least,
take him on an errand to pick up something he needs. Leave brothers and
sisters with another adult if possible.
Have a ritual. It’s not enough to spend one day a year with your
teen, obviously. But knowing that the two of you have an activity he can
always count on is comforting to him. For example, always spend the first
Saturday of the month baking cookies together.
Tune in to “teen time.” If you’re at home when your teen arrives
from school, your first impulse may be to ask about his day. That may work
for some teens. Others might need 30 minutes alone before they are ready
to talk.
Remember, too, that teens are often wide-awake and ready to talk late at
night - but parents are usually asleep. So, once a week, force yourself to
keep your eyes open later.
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If You Think
Your Teen is Using Alcohol, Drugs…
Monitor your teen’s
behavior closely if you suspect substance abuse. Few parents enjoy the
idea of spying on their teens, but this is a special case. Your teen’s
health and schoolwork could be affected. Knowing you are watching may help
deter her from becoming more deeply involved.
To monitor your teen during this time:
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Be at home and awake when she comes in. Observe how she looks, acts and
smells. Let her know this will be the routine now.
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Get to know the parents of her friends. Share your concerns. Ask them to
be watchful.
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Always know where your teen is going, who she is going with, how she will
get there, and how and when she will get home. If she is going to a party,
call the host’s house. Do not let her go if the parents will not be home.
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Always have your teen call you at least once while she is out. Make sure
you have a way to reach her, too. If she doesn’t have a cell phone, ask
her to give you a number to call.
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Taking Charge Helps
Develop Responsibility
Some people have more success than others - not because they are luckier,
but because they have positive attitudes and a strong sense of
responsibility.
To teach your teen responsibility, expect him to take charge of:
His decisions.
Teach him to think before he acts. Have him weigh the pros and cons of
each decision.
His worries.
Have him make a list. On one side list “things I can affect by my
actions.” On side two, list “things I have no control over.” Help him
focus only on side one.
His learning.
Teach him to study ahead instead of waiting until the last minute. Have
him ask for help if he falls behind.
His feelings and
emotions.
Tell him people can and will be unkind and unfair. But he can control his
response. Have him do something positive instead of dwelling on negative
behavior.
His future.
Teach him to set goals. Then have him post them in a prominent place and
check them off as he achieves them.
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Greetings from PCN
The first weeks of school have flown by. It seems that as the days
grow shorter, they also become busier! Is your family caught in a
whirlwind of school, work, sports, activities and social events?
Sometimes it’s too easy to lose track of each other, and of important
messages we want to share.
We encourage you to make the time to connect your child or teen, sharing
your expectations and values about their behavior. While many of us may
have grown up in a time when underage drinking was accepted or overlooked,
that isn’t how today’s world operates. Underage drinking is not just
illegal. It is also dangerous, leading to long-term health and behavior
problems, accidents, other risky behavior and even death.
We all want our children to grow up into healthy, happy and productive
adults. One of the most important things you can do to help that happen
is to make clear your feelings on underage drinking.
Enjoy the fall!
Darcy Jensen and the PCN Board
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