April 2008
Prompt
Teens to Think About Consequences, Risks
Promote Good
Attendance by Setting Goals
Make
Communication More Productive by Listening
Talk With Your Teen About the Purpose, Importance of Tests
A Word From the Director
Prompt Teens to Think About Consequences, Risks
New brain research confirms what parents
have always suspected: Even the brightest teen lacks a fully developed
brain. The part of the brain that develops last (the frontal lobes)
governs decision-making. It’s also the part of the brain that helps us
think through the consequences of our actions. This knowledge may
help you understand why your teen answers the question, “How could you
do that?” by saying, “It seemed like a good idea at the time.” So your
task, right through the teen years, is to be your teen’s brain. You
will need to draw your teen’s attention to the consequences and
possible risks of her actions. Prompt her to think about situations by
asking questions like, “If you go out tonight, will you have enough
time to finish your history project?” “What will you do if there’s
alcohol at the party?” Remember, when it comes to questionable or
risky situations, you always have the option of saying no. Just
because your teen really wants to go to a party doesn’t mean you have
to say yes.
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Promote Good
Attendance by Setting Goals
Research
conducted by the National Center for School Engagement has identified
many factors contributing to truancy. Here are just a few:
 Safety issues, such as violence on
the way to and from school.
Family health or financial concerns
that cause students to care for family or work during school hours.
Negative role models, such as
friends who skip school.
The study also developed a program to combat the effects of each
factor. One surprising component was teaching teens to set goals. Once
teens understood that education is a way to achieve long-term goals,
they were more likely to attend school regularly. Give your teen
opportunities to set and achieve goals at home. When he is comfortable
setting and achieving small goals, he’ll feel more confident about
setting and achieving bigger, long-term goals - such as graduating
high school and pursuing a career.
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Make Communication More Productive by Listening
For many parents,
“communication” means “I talk; you listen.” The truth is that the best
way to communicate with your teen is to listen more. So try an
experiment. On a sticky note, write just one word: Listen. Put it on
your mirror where you will see it in the morning. Try to spend a whole
day really listening to your teen. Sit down when your teen is
watching TV. Ask your teen to help you in the kitchen. Prepare a
favorite snack when she walks in the door from school. If you make
yourself available, your teen is likely to share a worry, a concern or
a thought. That’s when the real challenge will start. You could hear
some things that may surprise or even shock you. As much as possible,
try to keep listening. Make eye contact with your teen. Nod your head.
Ask questions to keep your teen talking. “What happened then?” Or just
ask, “What do you think about this?” Helen Keller said, “Deafness is
darker by far than blindness.” When you do all the talking, you might
as well be deaf - because you aren’t hearing what’s on your teen’s
mind.
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Talk With Your Teen About the Purpose, Importance of
Tests
Research shows that students
are more likely to be motivated to do their best on and study hard for
tests when they understand why they’re taking a test and why it’s
important. If you’re not sure, ask your teen’s teachers.
Then talk to your teen about
the purpose of the test. Standardized tests, for example, show
students, parents and teachers how well students are learning compared
to other students around the state or country.
Remind your teen that
test-taking is a part of life. She’ll have to pass a test to get a
driver’s license and for some careers, such as those in medicine and
law.
Becoming comfortable with
taking tests now will help your teen succeed in school—and in life.
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Greetings from PCN
This month I have often overheard
parents talking about the “joys” of parenting. The struggle to get
their sleepy daughter out of bed, the trip to school to take books
that had been forgotten and just this morning I was telling my son,
“If you do not leave now you will be late for school.” The look on my
son’s face indicated he felt he had plenty of time and I was over
reacting. As I reflected on parenting the article written years ago
by Erma Bombeck came flooding back to me. Read and enjoy.
I Loved
You Enough:
To ask you about where you were going, with whom and what time you
will get home.
To insist that you buy a bike with your own money that we could have
afforded to give you.
To be silent and let you discover your handpicked friend was a creep.
To make you return a Milky Way with a bite out of it to the drug store
and confess that you stole it.
To stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, which was
a job that would have taken me fifteen minutes.
To let you see anger, disappointment, disgust and tears in my eyes.
To admit I was wrong and ask for your forgiveness.
To let you stumble, fall and get hurt.
To let you assume responsibility for your actions at six, ten and
sixteen.
But most of all, I loved you enough to say “no” when you hated me for
it and that was the hardest part of all.
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