Teens don't always know what
"showing respect" means, especially in a school environment. They have
a vague idea that they need to say please and thank you, and they know
they have to listen to their teachers.
At school, students don't just
have to respect teachers, the principal and other staff members. They
also have to respect the other students and the school building.
Discuss this with your teen.
Talk about
respectful:
Language. Your teen should refrain from
cursing, using inappropriate language or using racist words. Discuss
how people unintentionally overhearing his conversation might get
offended.
Conduct. Your teen shouldn't hit, jump on, touch or forcefully
bump into others--even if he is just fooling around with friends. He
should also avoid talking back to teachers or using disrespectful body
language such as rolling his eyes.
Treatment of the building. Your teen shouldn't paint or write
graffiti on walls or lockers, or even write on desks in classrooms. He
shouldn't deface posters on the walls.
Treatment of possessions. If your teen is
borrowing his textbooks from the school, he should not write in them
or tear pages. He should also be mindful of how he treats others'
possessions. Encourage him to treat others' things as carefully he
would his own.
Q:
My daughter tells me she falls asleep in her English
class! It's her first-period class and she says that a combination of
a subject she doesn't like and the early hour just knocks her out.
What can I do?
A:
Studies show that most teens are not, by nature, morning people. But
they have to get up and get to school anyway. Sleeping in class
is a problem. First, your daughter is obviously missing some of what
the teacher has to say. If she already struggles with English, this
will make the situation worse. She is also hurting her
relationship with the teacher. If she ever wants extra help, the
teacher may wonder why she didn't pay attention the first time he
taught the material.
So work with her to find ways she
can stay awake during her class. Here are two ideas:
1) Enforce a bedtime. No, your teen won't like it. But
as long as she can't meet her responsibilities in the morning, she'll
just have to go along. Make sure your teen knows that bedtime
means "no media." Don't let her keep her cell phone in her room for
recharging - she'll send text messages all night. Turn off the
computer and the TV, too.
2) Encourage her to make some changes in class. Have her
talk with the teacher and request a seat near the front of the room.
A
combination of more sleep and a little more focus should keep your
teen awake during all her classes, even the early-morning ones.
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Setting high expectations for
your teen is the only way to be certain she will succeed in school.
Think of your expectations like a road map--without the map, there's
no guarantee your teen will end up at the final destination (or even
know what it is). With the map, she'll be able to successfully find
her way.
To make sure your expectations
for your teen are clear:
þ
Talk about future goals. Help
your teen make plans for the future and figure out how to make those
plans a reality.
þ
Discuss the link between effort
and outcome. Assure your teen that you are more concerned that she
give her best effort than that she get all A's.
þ
Make time to talk about school
and schoolwork. Your teen will feel that you are interested in her
education.
þ
Have your teen set routines for
homework and chores. This shows your teen that you are confident in
her abilities to get the "little things" done by herself--and will
prepare her to tackle larger goals.
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We are
slowly making our way through winter and starting to dream of spring.
What a difference a month can make in the temperature and our dreams
of warmer weather. As we cross off the days of winter the idea of
spring seems possible and less of a dream.
Having dreams and setting
goals for personal growth are important for parents and children. As
parents we always want the best for our children and resolve to assist
them in their efforts. Yet if we think back to our own
accomplishments, most likely the things we dreamed and did on our own
have the most value for us.
As I was working on this letter a recent play date with my little
granddaughter came to mind. I watched and listened as she told me
about the castle she was building. I was just ready to help her
balance the last blocks on the top of the castle when she turned and
said, “No I do it”! Oh the look of triumph I saw when she succeeded. I
found this quote by John Newport, which I thought truly fit. “Whenever
I pursue my dreams I discover something astonishing-- I discover
myself. Dreams aren’t a matter of chance but a matter of choice.“
Allow your children to dream and set goals for themselves. The process
can set in motion a journey of a lifetime. Supporting them as
they reach their goals builds a strong relationship and a
treasure-trove of memories. Take time as a family to share your
dreams and support each other in the journey. As always call the PCN
office if you have questions or are in need of a resource. Enjoy
your family time.
Darcy Jensen and the PCN Board
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