March, 2008
Help
Teens Choose Friends Who Provide a Good Influence
Give Your Teen
a Destination, Not a Road Map
Don’t Let Your
Teen Become a School Dropout
A Word From the Director
Help
Teens Choose Friends Who Provide a Good Influence
As children
grow up, their friends begin to have a strong influence on them. And
that’s more than a little scary to parents. However, you can worry
less if your teen has found a group of “good” friends. Studies have
shown that you have more of an effect on the kinds of friends your
teen chooses than you may realize.
Teens are more
likely to choose “good” friends (defined by one of the studies as
“ones who don’t fight and who have plans for college”) if they have a
warm relationship with their parents. In fact, teens close to their
parents are less likely to fight and be delinquent, and more likely to
be involved in extracurricular activities, to have higher grades and
to have plans for college.
To improve your relationship with
your teen:
Participate
in activities together. Finding shared interests gives you and
your teen a great foundation for a close relationship.
Talk frequently
- especially about school. Knowing what is going on in your teenager’s
life will help him realize how important he is to you.
Express
affection for one another.
Teens are looking for acceptance and approval. If your teen doesn’t
get it from you, he will look for it from someone else. Let your teen
know that you love him and that you will always be there for him.
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When teens face tough problems, they often turn to their parents for
advice. It’s easy to give your teen a road map: “First do this. Then
do that.” But she’ll learn more if you take a different
approach—giving her a destination, instead of a map.
So work with your teen on the
problem. What is the destination she’s trying to reach? Suppose she
got a bad grade in a math class. Ask her what her goal is.
It may not be quite the goal you
would have chosen. You’d like her to aim for an A. She says she’ll be
happy with a B. But once she has a destination clearly in her mind,
you can help her think about how to “map” her route.
Does she need to
do extra studying? Should she ask the teacher for some after-school
help? As she creates her own road map, she’ll also be learning
important problem-solving skills.
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Don’t Let Your
Teen Become a School Dropout
The National
Dropout Prevention Center/Network recently conducted a study that
found 25 major risk factors that contribute to students’ decisions to
drop out of school. These risk factors included:
 Poor attendance.
Low educational
expectations.
Lack of effort.
Low commitment to
school.
Low parent contact
with school.
Lack of discussion
about school at home.
However, you
can help your teen combat these risk factors and motivate him to stay
in school! Here’s how:
ê
Expect your teen to attend school - every single day. Teens who miss
school often drop out if they think they can’t catch up.
ê
Expect your teen to do his best so he will be motivated to work hard.
ê
Let him know that you believe in him—and that you know he’ll succeed
at whatever he tries.
ê
Encourage your teen
to become involved in an extracurricular activity. Teens with ties to
the school beyond academics are more likely to stay in school.
ê
Work as a team with your
teen’s teachers. You all want the best for him.
ê
Talk about school
at home - every day.
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Greetings from PCN
The signs of spring are beginning to reveal
themselves; the days are getting longer and our children are starting
to talk about spring break. Spring is a time to start fresh and look
to the future. The articles I selected for the newsletter focus on
skills that help our children develop a successful future, focusing on
respect, responsibility and decision-making. As parents, we may
“preach” respect and responsibility yet the true key is in teaching
it! This can be a tough lesson not only for the child but also the
parent. Allowing our children to learn from their mistakes and take
responsibility for their actions is often more difficult than rushing
in and rescuing them. I found a quote from Bill Marriott, Sr. that
seems to sum up my thoughts: “People grow making decisions and
assuming responsibility for them.” Being a parent means asking the
tough questions of our children and expecting an answer. This is a
life lesson for parents and children in the journey to becoming an
adult. Take time to enjoy your family and the warm spring days
ahead. As always call the PCN office if any have questions or are in
need of a resource.
Darcy Jensen and the PCN Board
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