February 2009
Share Research With Your Teen About the Dangers of Drinking
Talking With Your Teen is Worth the Effort, Builds Relationships
Avoid
Four Traps When Dealing With an Underachiever
Use the Power of Resolutions to Encourage Self-Discipline
A Word From the Director
Share Research With Your Teen About the Dangers of
Drinking
New research shows that teenage
drinking is a much greater health problem than most parents realize.
For example:
ü
Teens who start
drinking before the age of 15 are twice as likely to become addicted
as those who wait until they are 21. Students who drink are also much
more likely to commit suicide. Alcohol increases impulsive behavior
and provokes teens to make stupid decisions that may lead to serious
injury or death.
ü
One-fourth
of the teens killed in car crashes were intoxicated.
What can you do?
ü
Check where your teen is
going and who she'll be with. If she is going to a party, call the
parents to be sure they will be in the house and that no alcohol will
be served.
ü
Be
sure she never gets in a car with someone who has been drinking.
Develop a code she can use if she calls you that really means, "Come
get me."
ü
Watch your teen carefully
for signs she may be depressed. Sometimes, teens use alcohol as a way
to medicate themselves.
Talking With Your Teen is Worth the Effort, Builds Relationships
You've heard that talking with
and listening to your teen is important. But clearly whoever came up
with that advice doesn't live in your house. Talking with your teen
can be dangerous! Either she snaps at you or she responds with a blank
look. So why should you make the effort, even if you're sure you're
going to be shot down? Because communication helps your teen:
Feel cared about.
Even if she answers "How was your day?" with "Fine," she's still
secretly pleased that you asked.
Build trust. Your teen
will realize that she can talk to you about her problems and you won't
think she's "uncool."
Believe she's
important to you. Tell your teen you care about her.
Learn how to have
"grown-up" discussions. After a while, your teen will realize that
storming off isn't the way to convince you to let her do something.
When she approaches you with rational arguments, listen.
The teen
years are a time of testing boundaries. Your teen is also asserting
her independence through pretending your opinions don't matter to her.
So keep talking. Teens who have close relationships with parents are
more likely to keep those close relationships through adulthood.
Avoid
Four Traps When Dealing With an Underachiever
You know your teen can do better
and you want to help motivate him. To help your teen improve, be sure
to avoid:
Unrealistic expectations.
There is no question that parents want the best for their kids. But if
you expect your teen to be the captain of the football team, work a
part time job and still get good grades, you may be setting your teen
up for failure.
The need to control.
Some decisions (safety, for example) require parental control. But
when it comes down to it, he is the one who will decide when, and if,
he does his math homework.
The “rescue” urge.
If you constantly bail out your struggling teen, he will learn that
it's okay to keep struggling. He will remain helpless as long as you
allow it. Once he knows you aren't going to step in, he will figure it
out.
Anger and
guilt. You already
know this doesn't work. You get angry. He gets angrier. And the
homework doesn't get finished. So if you feel yourself losing your
temper, take a break until you can approach things more calmly.
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Use the Power of Resolutions to Encourage
Self-Discipline
Has your teen ever forgotten to
finish a chore halfway through completing it? Or has he quit a sport
halfway through the season, claiming it was boring? This inability to
follow through might be a lack of self-discipline. Self-discipline
helps teens focus on and finish what they've started.
Encourage your teen to come up
with a New Year's Resolution this year. Setting one goal - and
achieving it - takes self-discipline. You might suggest that he
resolve to:
Avoid peer pressure. Saying "no" to drugs, alcohol or even bad ideas
suggested by friends can be difficult. Sticking to his morals shows a
lot of self-discipline--and his self-respect will grow as well.
Do better in school. Have him choose one subject that he would like to
improve in. Help him come up with a study plan, and encourage him
every step of the way.
Get
in better shape. Following a workout plan takes immense
self-discipline. And the benefits are great--habits set during the
teen years tend to be kept during adulthood.
Volunteer more. The great feeling that he gets from successfully
helping other people may encourage your teen to finish all projects he
starts.
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Greetings from PCN
Parenting is
a job that has no set hours - we are “on duty” twenty-four hours a
day. You are your child’s role model. How you respond to life
situations will be reflected in your child’s action. Many parents fail
to realize their power as a parent; most children do not want to
disappoint their parents or family. You can influence your child’s
behavior. Knowing this fact is important but understanding what you
can do as a parent to influence your child’s behavior is more
important. It can be as simple as asking the questions: “Who will you
be with?” “ Where are you going?” “What will you be doing?” And,
“When can I expect you back?” Is this pestering? No, it is
parenting. Remember, you are not alone. PCN is available to answer
your questions and locate resources for you. I encourage you to visit
our PCN and Prairie View websites for parenting tips and information
on how to recognize the signs of substance use. Please use these
resources. The PCN board knows parenting is an important job and we
all need support.
Darcy
Jensen and the PCN Board.
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