|
Three Motivating
Messages
Teaching ‘Life Isn’t Always Fair’
Learning to Speak Respectfully to Adults, Teachers
A Word From the
Director
As a parent, you are a mirror for your child. The way you treat your child
is the way she will believe she deserves to be treated. So when you treat
your child respectfully, she will grow up developing self-respect. If you
treat her with love, she will believe she is lovable. Here are three
messages you can send your child that will give her the tools she needs to
develop the motivation to learn:
“You are unique.”
Of the five billion people who live on Earth, no two have the same
fingerprint. Your child is different from everyone else alive today. One
of the greatest motivators for a child is the knowledge that she alone has
something to offer to the world. Whatever her interests, remind her that
she has a lot to offer.
“You are capable.”
One of the great gifts you can give your child is the knowledge that she
can tackle something tough. The next time she’s struggling with an
assignment, remind her of a time when she pulled through. Let your child
know that she can do just about anything she puts her mind to.
“You have the power.”
Your child needs to know that her own effort can affect her life and the
lives of those around her. Giving your child responsibility is one way to
teach this. Home chores are visible signs that she makes a difference in
your family. Teaching compassion is another way to show your child her
power. Your child has the power to make great changes in the world around
her.
Back to Top
“It’s not fair!” your child whines. Why can his sister stay up later? Why
does his brother get new sneakers? Parents can bend over backwards trying
to be exactly fair to their children. That can set kids up to believe that
they deserve the exact same privileges that everyone else has.
Sadly, the world doesn’t work that way. The sooner your child learns that
lesson, the easier it will be for him to deal with the world as it really
is.
The bedtime issue? Older kids can stay up later without getting crabby.
The new sneakers? His brother has outgrown his. Sometimes, being fair
means making sure kids have their needs met.
The truth is that your kids are not equal. One may be better in math,
while one excels in reading. You will build your child’s character if you
teach him that being “fair” means letting him become the best person he
can be - not giving him something because someone else needs it.
Back
to Top
Children are not adults. Yet some children speak to their parents in a
bossy and sarcastic way. They use a rude tone of voice. They tell instead
of ask.
Here are tips to help your child learn to speak to adults in a
respectful way:
Teach your child. How do you want your child to talk to adults?
Use role playing to show good and bad examples.
Model. If you yell at people, then your child will yell, too.
Use reminders. If your child uses a harsh tone of voice, or
forgets to say “please,” wait for a minute. Then ask your child, “I beg
your pardon?” or “Would you like to try that more respectfully?”
Teach your child to use “I” messages. Instead of saying, “You
forgot my lunch,” your child could say, “I’m worried because I don’t have
my lunch.”
Back
to Top
Greetings from PCN
Spring is here and we are all feeling the desire to get outside and do
something. It is also a time of the year when kids are spending more time
with their peers and may be exposed to alcohol or other drugs. For our
high school students spring is known as a “high risk” time because of prom
and graduation celebrations. I have included a portion of the SAMHSA
“Family Guide to Keeping Youth Healthy” because I do believe parental
involvement and education is a key to keeping our young people safe and
healthy. Please use these resources. The PCN board knows parenting is an
important job and we all need support!
Darcy Jensen and the PCN Board
‘Kids
are flooded with media messages that glamorize alcohol use. They also may
be pressured by peers to drink. However, as a parent you have enormous
influence on the choices your child makes. Take action: if you find
alcohol in your child’s room or backpack, or smell alcohol on his breath,
do not ignore it. Communication with your child is the key to preventing
underage alcohol use. Here’s what parents can do:
1) Learn about the warning signs and how
alcohol use can harm your child’s mind, body, and emotions.
2) Talk early and often with your child. Tell your children what
you expect from them if they are offered alcohol anytime, anywhere - for
example, at a party where alcohol is being served.
3) Get involved with your child’s activities. Encourage your child
to participate in supervised groups, clubs, and events that are
challenging, fun, and alcohol free.
4) Be a good role model. Think about what you say and how you act
in front of your child.
5) Teach your kids to choose friends wisely and how to form
positive relationships.
6) Set the rule: No riding with anyone who has been drinking. Tell
them to call you if they find themselves in that situation, and assure
them you will come and get them, or help them find a way to get home
safely.
7) Remind them of your rules and the consequences of breaking those
rules.
Remember, as parents,
the earlier you start talking to your child about drinking, the more
influence you may have on their values and decisions. Several short
conversations are better than one long lecture. And finally, let them
know how proud you are of the good decisions they make.
Back to Top
|
