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March, 2008
Schoolwork gets more challenging from one grade
level to the next. Children who can’t keep up often feel like
failures. Talking alone won’t convince your child he’s not a failure.
Sympathize with his feelings and then take these actions:
Put failure in perspective. Tell your child, “You can’t always succeed
the first time. Our mistakes can help us learn.”
Don’t let your child blame others. It’s his effort that counts.
Plan small steps to overcome obvious obstacles. Make targets
realistic. Match goals to his age and experience, so he can experience
success.
Create a study routine to help your child stay on top of work.
Keep up-to-date with what’s happening at school. Don’t let problems
escalate.
Consider getting extra help if needed in a particular subject. Talk to
your child’s teacher.
Don’t compare your child to
others. Recognize his strengths.
Avoid Common
Pitfalls of Overprotective Parents
When children are born, they
really are helpless. And it’s the job of parents to protect them in
every way they can. But as kids grow up, the need to protect them
changes. Children become more capable and able to do things for
themselves. Parents who continue to protect them from everything may
actually smother their child’s independence. That can lead to a child
who isn’t able to make decisions by herself. Overprotective parents
send a message to their kids that they aren’t able to handle things by
themselves. They also make it harder for kids to develop the
perseverance that comes from getting knocked down and getting back up
again. To avoid a few of the common pitfalls of overprotective
parents:
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Don’t ever do your child’s work for her. If she has forgotten about a
big project, she will have to face the consequences.
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Don’t
try to negotiate a better grade for your child. If you or your child
are confused about a grade she receives, let your child talk to the
teacher about it first.
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Don’t call the parent of a child your child is complaining about in
school. Give your child a chance to work it out. If it is a serious
problem, contact the school.
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Try to trust
your child. Give her chances to do things for herself. Will she make
mistakes? Probably. But she’ll also develop responsibility to do
things for herself.
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Remind Your Child That Respect and Manners Go Hand in Hand
Respect and manners go together. If your child
respects others, his words and actions - his manners - show it.
Studies show that people respond positively to polite people. With
good manners, your child will attract more friends and do better in
school.
So remind your child:
Manners
matter - People feel good when your child treats them with
respect. He’ll earn their respect, too.
To follow
the golden rule
- treat others as he’d like to be treated.
To say
please, thank you, you’re welcome and excuse me. Prompt him to
use these when he forgets.
To wait
for a pause in conversation rather than interrupt.
To
recognize when he’s
impolite. If he realizes he has been rude, he should apologize for his
actions.
Above all,
parents need to model good manners. Speak with respect about others -
particularly your child’s teacher.
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Greetings from PCN
The signs of spring are
beginning to reveal themselves; the days are getting longer and our
children are starting to talk about spring break. Spring is a time to
start fresh and look to the future. The articles I selected for the
newsletter focus on skills that help our children develop a successful
future, focusing on respect, responsibility and decision-making. As
parents, we may “preach” respect and responsibility yet the true key
is in teaching it! This can be a tough lesson not only for the child
but also the parent. Allowing our children to learn from their
mistakes and take responsibility for their actions is often more
difficult than rushing in and rescuing them. I found a quote from
Bill Marriott, Sr. that seems to sum up my thoughts: “People grow
making decisions and assuming responsibility for them.” Being a parent
means asking the tough questions of our children and expecting an
answer. This is a life lesson for parents and children in the journey
to becoming an adult. Take time to enjoy your family and the warm
spring days ahead. As always call the PCN office if any have
questions or are in need of a resource.
Darcy Jensen and the PCN Board
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