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February, 2008
Maintain
‘Parent-Kid’ Time to Keep Connected
Take a Stand When Your Child Uses Swear Words, Foul Language
Keep Cool, Remain Calm When Your Child Talks Back to You
A Word From the Director
Make a commitment to carve out
a little time that is “parent-kid” time each day. If you have more
than one child, look for time alone with each.
Think about your day. If your
child catches the school bus, turn that short walk to the bus stop
into your regular time together. Could you spend a little extra time
as you tuck each child into bed? Could you have a “tea party” with
your child after school? Invite one child at a time to help you
prepare dinner. You can chat while you chop the lettuce.
These small chunks of time,
when you’re relaxed and have no agenda, will become very important.
They may be the time when your child opens up and tells you what’s
really going on in her life.
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Take a Stand When Your Child Uses Swear Words, Foul
Language
Your second grader is upset.
Suddenly, he says a word you didn’t think he even knew. What’s a
parent to do when kids start talking dirty? Don’t ignore it. Kids hear
people swear on TV, in music videos and on the playground. You need to
say, “Not in our house.” Here are some tips:
* Talk about appropriate word choices. There are some words your child
should never use.
* Talk with your child’s teacher. In many schools, swearing is a real
problem. Offer to work on the issue with other parents.
* Help your child learn some other words to use. Have your child make
a list of words that can express anger without hurting feelings.
* Teach your child to “cope, not cuss” when he’s faced with a
challenge.
* Check your own language. If you don’t want your kids to swear, you
need to cut out your own swearing. Your example is a powerful teacher.
Keep Cool, Remain Calm When Your Child
Talks Back to You
In elementary school,
children’s complex thinking skills kick in. Your child may start
questioning rules and wondering if she really needs to listen to you.
She might begin sassing or
talking back to you. If you let your child sass you, she’ll probably
be rude to her teacher and other adults, too.
Don’t let back talk become a
habit. The next time your child has a quick retort like, “Duh!” “Yeah,
right!” or “You can’t make me!”:
 Don’t snap back. Your anger
gives your child satisfaction. She gets attention for her antics.
Analyze the communication. Is she
responding in defense to something rude you said or did to her? Did
she mean to be rude?
Don’t get derailed into a side
argument. Acknowledge your child’s feelings, but stick to your initial
request. “I know you’d rather play, but you need to do your homework -
now.”
Talk about back talk later. Discuss
ways people insult each other. Teach better ways to comment on what
you don’t like. Warn that future rudeness will have a consequence.
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Greetings from PCN
We are making our way into the
New Year and finding out how hard it is to keep our New Year’s
resolutions. As parents, we always want the best for our children and
resolve to assist them in their achievements. Yet, if we think back
to our own accomplishments, most likely the things we dreamed and did
on our own have the most value for us. As I was working on this
article I found this quote by John Newport, which I thought truly fit:
“Whenever I pursue my dreams I discover something astonishing - I
discover myself. Dreams aren’t a mater of chance but a matter of
choice. “ Allow your children to dream and set goals for themselves;
the process can set in motion a journey of a lifetime. Supporting
your children in reaching their goals builds a strong relationship and
a lifetime of memories. Take time to enjoy your family and share your
own dreams. As always, call the PCN office if any have questions or
are in need of a resource. Enjoy your family time.
Darcy Jensen and the PCN Board
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