Are You Teaching Your Child How to be Grateful?

Kids who learn to be grateful are less likely to whine when they don't get what they want. They are easier to be around and get along better with friends and adults. Are you helping your child learn to be thankful? Answer yes or no to the questions below to find out:

___1. Does everyone in your family identify at least one thing for which he is grateful each day?

___2. Do you say "thank you" often? Do you teach your child to thank everyone, from the bus driver to the cafeteria worker?

___3. Do you focus on small reasons to be grateful? Do you take time to admire a beautiful sunset?

___4. Do you focus on things your family can do together instead of thinking about things you can't afford?

___5. Do you and your child talk about the things you have to be grateful for?

How well are you doing?

Each yes means you are helping your child become more grateful. For each no answer, try that idea in the quiz.

Choose Research-Based, Effective Ways
to Discipline Your Child

Have you ever met a happy, well-behaved child and wondered what her parents were doing right? Are they super strict? Really relaxed? Hopefully neither, because research shows that being too strict is destructive, and being too permissive isn't healthy, either. The best approach is to strike a balance.

Remember to:

Be positive. Parents are most successful when they motivate children with love, not fear. So avoid punishments and put the biggest focus on what your child does right. Correct in a caring, constructive way.

Set limits. Part of loving a child is protecting her and helping her get along with others. This requires rules. Choose rules carefully, research suggests, and enforce them with empathy. It helps to ask yourself, "Is this rule necessary?"

Use consequences. Consequences are not the same as punishments. The best ones are directly related to behavior. For example, "Uh oh. You left your toy outside again, and it got ruined in the rain."

Give choices. Over time, you want your child to develop self-discipline. When you allow her to make age-appropriate choices, she gains confidence and responsibility. Present only those options that are okay with you. ("Would you like this or that? You choose.")

Manage emotions. It's natural for parents to sometimes feel angry, frustrated and to explode! Ahead of time, plan how you'll handle these feelings safely. Wait to discipline until you're calm. ("I am angry about this. I'm going to calm down in my room, and we'll discuss it later.")

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Parents Questions & Answers

Q: I'd like my son to get his homework all finished before we eat dinner. That would leave us some time in the evening for family time. But he dawdles, and homework seems to take him forever. He is constantly getting up and moving around. I am tired of fighting with him. What can I do to make homework time easier?

A: There's an old saying that parents need to remember: Pick your battles. It sounds as if you are fighting two battles. One (whether or not he will do the homework) is important. But the other (when he does the work) may not be.

Here are four steps to end homework hassles and find a routine that works for both of you:

1 Pick a time when you and your son are not arguing. Talk with him about how he feels when he gets home from school. Is he really tired, so he feels a need to relax for a little while? Or is he so filled with energy that he needs to release with a little active play?

2 Create a schedule that works for both of you. Tell your child that the first 45 minutes or one hour are his to schedule. He can relax. He can play outside. (If your family has a rule about TV during the week, stick to that.)

3 Give him a five-minute warning when the time is nearly up. Then ring a bell or sound an alarm.

4 Now it's time for homework. The good news is that he may spend less time dawdling and more time working. So you'll still have time for family.

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Help Your Child Develop an Achievement Attitude

Attitudes are like mental pictures. Basketball players who can picture themselves scoring a basket can usually do just that. Students who have a positive picture of themselves being successful in the classroom are more likely to achieve.

As a parent, you have the ability to help your child create positive pictures and positive thoughts about what she can do. Here are some ways you can help your child create an attitude of achievement:

J Picture success in school. Help your child create a mental picture of success. "I want you to see yourself getting an A on that book report."

J Stress the importance of effort. If your child is struggling, say, "When you studied hard last week, you got your spelling words right. You can do it."

J Give the positive behavior you see a name. "I was so proud when you were kind to the new boy in class today."

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Greetings from PCN

The holiday season is just around the corner, often bringing family time and keeping with “tradition”. At times our children may be reluctant to give up time with friends or just hanging out to join in family time. Before the holiday season is in full swing, sit down together and talk about your family schedule for the holidays, giving everyone a chance to express their feelings and concerns. As a family, make a holiday plan giving consideration to everyone’s wishes. Explaining ahead of time the importance of a special tradition may change how children view it.

This month I have highlighted articles that take a look at discipline, love and parenting. Three simple words, but each one has the power to change a life. Remember the power of love as you plan your holiday schedule - it can make a difference.

Holiday wishes for memories that will last a lifetime. As always call the PCN office if you have any questions or are in need of a resource. Enjoy your family time during the holiday season.
Darcy Jensen and the PCN Board.