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Combat Overindulgence to Raise a Respectful,
Responsible Child
Try a Moderate Approach for Effective Discipline
A Word From the
Director
Notable Quote
”Fortunately, children do not need ‘perfect’ parents. They do need
mothers and fathers who will think on their feed and who will be
thoughtful about what they have done. They do need parents who can be
flexible, and who can use a variety of approaches to discipline.”
- James L. Hymes Jr., Ed. D.
Combat Overindulgence to Raise a
Respectful, Responsible Child
Many parents want to
give their children everything. But is it too much? You can overindulge
your child by giving him too many material things. You can also provide
too little structure or too few rules. Or you can over-nurture your child.
You might take care of him too much. Studies show that overindulged
children grow up self-righteous and demanding. They often feel inadequate
and unloved. Such children will have problems at school. Because they
lack personal responsibility and self-esteem, they have a hard time
learning. Overindulged children sulk or get angry when they don’t get
their way - in the classroom and at recess. To avoid overindulging:
 Have your child
clear out clothes and toys by donating some to charity.
Give your child only
age-appropriate material things that are within the family budget. Don’t
give in to pressure to buy him the latest video game or designer clothes.
Establish rules and
stick to them. Make the rules clear to your child. Explain the reasons for
them. Don’t argue with him about them.
Resist doing things
for your child he can do for himself. He can fix his school lunch and keep
his room clean. He can also plan his own homework schedule.
Let your child deal
with the results of bad decisions. For instance, if he misses the bus,
insist that he get up earlier or put his clothes out the night before.
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Try a Moderate
Approach for Effective Discipline
There’s a fine line
when it comes to discipline. You don’t want to be too strict or too
permissive.
Research says that
parents who are authoritative but moderate get the best results. This
means you’re in charge, but you’re reasonable, positive and flexible.
Studies show this approach helps your child build self-esteem. She’ll be
more curious about learning and willing to cooperate. These qualities will
help her succeed in school. To become more moderate:
*Help your child
learn to solve problems. Explain why hitting, lying or whatever negative
behavior she is doing is wrong.
*Ask her how she could handle the situation better.
*Ignore your child
when she’s acting up just to get your attention. Pick your battles, rather
than constantly correcting her.
*Focus on the
positive. Catch your child doing good things and praise her.
*Reinforce the behavior with meaningful rewards - such as spending special
time with you.
*Negotiate with your
child sometimes. Offer her choices, but make sure you can live with all
the choices before letting her decide.
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Greetings from PCN
For several months I
have being working on the underage drinking issue with students, parents,
law enforcement and medical staff from around the area. I’ve asked them
to tell me about their experiences, and I am learning so much from
everyone. A big part of our discussions focuses on what influences them
and how they deal with real life situations. Talking with parents who
lost a child to underage drinking has been heart breaking and humbling.
The hurt is so raw but the words of wisdom they have for both parents and
students is pointed. They have a unified message: “Drinking is illegal
and we as parents need to stand up and say NO”. One mother recalls, “We
knew what he was going to do and we accepted it. Now I wish I could go
back in time.” Parents need to be parents - not their child’s friends.
Your children are old enough to talk to about this issue. Help them
decide how they could handle a crisis situation and make certain they know
who they can seek help from if they have concerns. Your child will need
your help and your life experience to be successful. In the coming
months I will share some of the findings from the underage drinking task
force, positive parenting tips and underage drinking prevention.
Darcy Jensen and the PCN Board.
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