Bullies Pg 1

Page 1
Introduction
What is Bullying?
Who Gets Bullied?
Prevention Strategies

Page 2
When Your Child is a Target
Who are the Bullies?
Heading Off Bully Behavior
Sources & More Resources

Introduction
The word ‘bully’ calls to mind little boys fighting on the playground or young girls turning their backs on a classmate. Most of us consider bullying elementary school children’s normal growing process. But this behavior – which may start as early as preschool – is becoming more intense, and can last throughout a child’s school career. Middle school can be a hotbed of bullying. A survey of more than 1,200 of boys and girls aged 9 to 13 found 86% have seen someone being bullied. For every 100 kids, an average of eight are bullied every day, seven are bullied every week but not every day, and 33 are bullied once in a while, but not every week.
And today’s high-tech world means victims may not even find peace at home. Cyberbullying – web pages, blogs, text messaging, cell phones and more - are forms of electronic violence and harassment that can be harder to stop and are now commonplace.

Researchers understand the deep and long-lasting wounds that bullying can inflict. The stakes are high. Previous research has shown that without intervention, a child who is a bully in kindergarten is often a bully in elementary school, high school and beyond. If young bullies aren’t stopped, they often grow up to be adult bullies. They are more likely than their peers to serve prison time as adults, they also tend to suffer from depression.

Kids who are routinely victimized:
þ Have higher rates of depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorders, substance abuse and suicide
þ Are more likely to carry weapons to school for self-defense
þ Miss school more often because they feel unsafe
þ Have trouble focusing on schoolwork and lessons because they're consumed by anxiety and fear
þ Have lower self-esteem as adults, along with higher rates of depression and other mental disorders in adulthood
þ May develop problems with anger management or self-destructive behavior
þ Have unexplained physical ailments, such as headaches and stomachaches þ Show higher levels of depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts than do non-victims.

Parents, caregivers, and teachers all can help.

What is Bullying?
To help distinguish bullying from routine conflicts, look for these identifiers:

It is intentional. The target does not knowingly provoke the bully and may have made it clear that the behavior is unwelcome.
It is often repetitive. Bullying generally is carried out repeatedly over time. It can sometimes be a single incident.
It involves hurtful acts, words, or other behavior. Bullying is an oppressive or negative act intended to hurt someone else.
It may be committed by one or more people against another. Bullying can be done by a single person or by a group.
It involves a real or perceived imbalance of power. A child without power cannot bully. Power can be defined as either physical strength, social status, or intimidating behavior.

Specific types of bullying include:

þ Hitting, punching and kicking
þ Destruction of the victim’s property
þ Teasing
þ Name-calling
þ Taunting
þ Racial slurs
þ Spreading malicious rumors
þ Exclusion from groups or activities
þ E-mail threats
þ Harassing phone calls
þ Intimidating or threatening Web sites or blogs
Sexual and homophobic bullying also is common now, and may include:
þ Unwanted sexual jokes or comments
þ Sexual name-calling
þ Spreading sexual rumors
þ Grabbing or touching students in a sexual manner
þ Pulling clothing down or off

Cyberbullying

Bullying has gone high-tech in cyberspace. Cyberbullying can happen during IM (Instant Messaging) conversations, on social networking websites or through text messaging. Bullies may use the digital cameras in their cell phones to snap unflattering or upsetting photos of their targets – even in school locker rooms. And it’s hard for young people to escape cyberbullies who can torment their victims 24/7 through all the new communication technologies.

Is Your Child a Target of Cyberbullies?
Some signs to watch for:
Anger or sadness during or after using the Internet
Withdrawal from friends, activities
Avoiding school
Declining grades
Being bullied at school (these are the students that are most often targeted by cyberbullies.)

Parent Tips to Help Your Child Avoid Becoming a Cyberbully’s Target
Discuss the concerns of revealing intimate personal information – online or in person.
Visit and discuss the values demonstrated by others in your child’s favorite online communities. Insist that the school intervene effectively to address any in-school bullying.

Who Gets Bullied?
Any child can be bullied. Boys and girls are equally likely to face bullying. Any age group can foster bullying behavior, although it seems to peak in middle school and decline in high school Researchers have identified certain traits that may put some children at higher risk of bullying. Bullies commonly look for easy targets, especially children who seem to be passive.
These passive targets may include children who:
è Have a noticeable disability
è Are socially isolated or lonely
è Are insecure or unassertive among their peers
è Aren't athletic
è Appear physically weaker than peers
è Cry easily or get upset easily
è Relate better to adults than to peers

Prevention Strategies
Don't wait until your child is bullied to talk about it or take action. Especially as students grow older, they may be embarrassed or ashamed of being the bully’s victim, or believe they need to handle it on their own.
Spend time with each of your children every day. Show affection and make them feel special and important. Encourage your children to share information about school and school-related activities.
Ask direct questions about teasing at school.
Teach kids about confidence and resilience and how to develop social skills - all of which help reduce the chances of being a bully’s target.
Teach your children to be assertive rather than aggressive or violent.
Involve your child in activities that can raise self-esteem, such as sports or music.
Talk about your child’s friends and what they do.
Talk with your children about the difference between flirting and sexual harassment and give examples of each. Make sure your children understand that sexual harassment is a form of violence and that it is illegal.
Encourage your children to tell you about any incidents that make them feel bad, embarrassed, scared, or uncomfortable.
Respond to your children's concerns with patience, love, and support.

Eventually, nearly every student will come across a bully. Teach your child how to handle and cope with these situations, with your help. Some skills that will come in handy:
Don't react to the bullying. Bullies may give up if they don't get attention.
Don't fight back, and NEVER resort to using a weapon.
Try role-playing or practice what you'll say to a bully, such as, "I want you to stop now."
Show confidence with your head held high.
Stick with a friend while on the bus, in the cafeteria, between classes, or while walking to and from school.
Talk to an adult. Parents, teachers, principals and guidance counselors can help you stop the bullying.
Try to meet classmates who are friendly and supportive and who will include you in their activities.

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